Of Course nothing MATTRESS when you're SLEEPING on life
This Blog post will be analyzing the translations below of the first line in the Kafka's Metamorphosis book. The original sentence of the first line is, "Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt."
#1: Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.
The first detail I notice about this line is that the diction is very simple and straight forward which makes the quote easy to understand, but is not a good first impression for the author. It also does not give enough explanation or detail to form images in the reader's mind. The only detailed adjectives given are "giant" and "uneasy". There is also a lot of time that would have had to pass between the transformation of a human to a large bug which is not explained in this first sentence which therefore means that this process may be explained throughout the novel. Lastly, I am assuming that the character was a human before the transformation, but the text does not give any evidence of this which would have been an important aspect to consider.
#2:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
The only difference between this quote and the last one is that different adjectives are used to describe his sleep and the size of the bug. The translation uses "troubled" instead of "uneasy", and "enormous" instead of "giant". The line also gives setting to the story, which is his bed that he was sleeping in. The only difference between the diction is that the first quote says "woke" and the second says "awoke". Awoke is considered more formal language than woke.
#3:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
The first element I identified in this third quote is that it is in present tense, therefore, occurring with the reader which makes the subject feel more connected between the narrator and the reader. This translation also moves back to the adjective "uneasy", which is a more lenient description that allows for interpretation on the type of dream. The second adjective is "gigantic" which is larger than "giant" in the first example.
#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
This last quote has different diction and structure than the other three sentences. One element that is only present in the fourth sentence is the many commas in the sentence structure which separate the phrases and creates suspense. Another aspect is that the man's name (Gregor Samsa) is stated in the middle of the sentence rather than the subject at the start of the sentence. Again, putting the subject in the middle of the sentence creates suspense. Example four is also different because the pest is described as a "monstrous vermin" which is most commonly associate with rats, while the other three examples describe the transformation as a bug or insect. The adjective "monstrous" also makes the transformation appear more scary than intriguing.
Though the fourth translation appears to have the most complex and fancy diction, it is the least illustrative. "Monstrous" is not an effective adjective because everyone perceives this image differently and could obtain the wrong message from the novel, but this may have been the exact intension for the novel. Allowing vague wording lets the reader create their own image in their head based on previous experiences. I found that when the syntax, word choice, punctuation, and imagery of the texts were more unique, the plot appears more interesting or appealing to the reader.
I think that the first example could be seen as most
effective for the reader because it is the most direct quote that leads to a
certain point. Example one doesn't have a lot of conjunctions, which can be compared to example three which prolonged the end of the sentence. I think
personally that the fourth example is the most effective because it is up for
interpretation and it sounds the most intellectual which I think appeals to a
large group of audiences.
From this exercise, we can find that translations of the
same wording can be developed to exaggerate different points in the text
and therefore have alternative meanings. I also think that the language
barrier is significant when translations occur because similar words have
different meanings in each language and can be interpreted differently.
The tone of each translation is mostly effected by the diction and use of
punctuation. For example, if the sentences ended in exclamation marks, they are
deemed to have a more excited or frantic tone, as opposed to periods which
aren't as expressive.
Sincerely,
I really liked your analysis of the four translations; they were very well-developed and you clearly thought about each of them insightfully. I agree very closely with your analysis of translations one, two, and three, but I interpreted the word "monstrous" very differently. I felt that it was actually very beneficial to the translation because in addition to insinuating that the insect was very large, it also applies a negative connotation to the insect. However, I appreciate your point about how monstrous can be ambiguous because it can be interpreted in many ways. Overall, great response!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I loved how you organized and broke down each translation to analyze the figurative/ literary elements and there effect on the reader. I agree with the fourth translation being the least descriptive. Also, "monstrous venom" seems oddly more disturbing and unsettling than "gigantic insect." The word 'venom' applies to a variety of organisms than just insect, which leaves the reader to his/her imagination. Also, "gigantic insect" doesn't have the negative connotation as "monstrous vermin" and is more descriptive.
ReplyDeleteone word for your title: why.
ReplyDeleteI think it is notable how you chose to focus on mostly the connotations of words for the first 3 translations, and for the last you focus more on sentence structure. I also found it interesting how you explain that although the fourth quote uses more complex language, it is the least effective. This makes me think about my own writing because I normally try to write in a complex style in order for my writing to seem formal, but I have never considered how this impacts the effectiveness.
ReplyDeleteI like that you commented on how the author's decision to begin the novel with a transition from human to bug leaves a lot of information missing. I didn't even think about that but I think you're right in your guess that it's setting the rest of the novel up for explaining why that change happened. I also like that you commented on the use of the present tense and how it creates a connection between the reader and narrator, and I wonder if it's a sort of hint that the transformation occurred to a regular man for a reason that will be explored?? This was a great post!!
ReplyDelete